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Surfacing (6 Months)

from One Year Later by Cam Left Ed

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lyrics

Breaking the surface was harder than it seemed
I came up for air, but could only scream
And with empty lungs, I submerged again
Waiting for a second wind
Of strength.

And I knew I would never be ready for it
But anything was better than sinking in
So when I took my first breath
It burned, it seared, but I held it in
To stay.
Stay

I could spend my whole life drowning
And maybe that'd be easier
Or I could go out fighting
Exhausted but worth the effort
And maybe I'm not worth it,
Maybe I'm worthless,
But I can see
It's worth it to breathe.

Treading water and catching waves
I grew used to the air's fresh taste
And I slowly swam back to shore
Collapsed in the sand and wished for more
Strength

Sunburnt and sore and breathing fire
I wanted to move but I was too tired
Then the tide lapped at my feet
Couldn't go back, somehow I found it in me
To stay.
Stay

I could spend my whole life drowning
And maybe that'd be easier
Or I could go out fighting
Exhausted but worth the effort
And maybe I'm not worth it,
Maybe I'm worthless,
But I can see
It's worth it to breathe.

Stay
Stay
Stay...

I've spent my whole life drowning
And it sure as hell was easier
But I will go out fighting
Exhausted but worth the effort
And I may not be worth it,
I still feel worthless,
But I can see
It's worth it to breathe.

So stay,
Stay,
Stay

Stay.

credits

from One Year Later, released April 29, 2017

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about

Cam Left Ed Dayton, Ohio

music from a person just as lost as everyone else.

also a trans person documenting their vocal transition on testosterone

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